An Emotional Wreck? It’s Me Oh Lord…

Hey guys it’s me, the emotional basket case here. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Hope you’ve all had a great weekend. ✌️

I have debated if I should even share this with you, because heaven forbid there will be some who think I’ve finally went over the brink. But here goes…Here’s my heart out on my sleeve. 💜

This has been a very emotional weekend for me, to say the least! It really started the day my brother and I went to my doctors appointment.

We were passing through a parking lot after the appointment, and there was a guy sitting on the curb underneath a shade tree, holding up a sign. Help…I’m hungry.

At first, I realized I didn’t have any cash but $1. Tears came to my eyes. I pulled around to the other side and told my brother I was sorry for the waterworks. I parked and dug around for change. Together, we scratched up around $4 in change, plus the $1 bill. We gave it to him. And moved on.

I’ve felt God just tugging at me ever since. Maybe it’s my own long trials that are getting the best of me…

And then Friday evening happened.

Saturday was my husband’s birthday, and he had taken off Friday, for a doctors visit. As it turns out, the appointment had actually been for the day before and not even in our town office. It had been at the one an hour away. My husband had thought he had an appointment here.

He had expressed his desire for that with the doctor, but the doctor had failed to let the front desk know this. So, we both assumed…🤦🏼‍♀️🤷‍♀️

We were both dressed up, out and about, so I suggested we go for birthday dinner. We decided to go over to the next town over which is also an hour’s drive away. Afterwards, he wanted a milkshake from Dairy Queen.

As we pulled into a parking space, my hubby said, “Get a load of what that girl is wearing!” I looked up to notice a rather questionable character loitering to the right of the entrance.

As we made our way to the front door, it was very obvious the way she was dressed she was either on drugs, a prostitute or both–my guess is both. She watched us as we approached her, looking down as we got closer.

She had some type of a long, lightweight robe on and what looked to be a nude pantyhose body suit underneath. She pulled her robe together as we got close enough to her.

Something got a hold of me! A very strong thought came to me, “Speak to her. Look her straight in her eyes and show her my love.”

So I did–I looked her straight in the eyes and I said, “Hey, how are you?” She looked me straight in the eyes also, and looked back down. “Oh, I can’t complain,” she said back to me. I said, “That’s right!”

We continued to walk on inside and to the front counter to order. All the workers were teenagers who laughed and joked with us. When we ordered, they told us that they were sorry but were fresh out of all the ingredients! We realized they were joking and picked back with them.

They said, ” Did you guys notice our visitor out front?” We said that we had. One of the girls went on to say that a breeze had blown her robe up in the back, and they had seen her behind! I told them it was really sad.

Yes, something had a hold of me…It bothered me to the point, I could not even enjoy my ice cream. 😢

We had sat down, and I was fighting back the tears. It hit me she needed to hear that she was God’s little princess, so I got my phone out and started copying down the words to my poem on a piece of paper from my purse.

My husband asked me what I was doing, and I told him she needed to hear something from the blog. We had seen she had walked away from the entrance. He said, “She’s probably long gone by now, Renee.”

I said, “Well maybe so, but I feel like she needs to hear this.” So I wiped a couple tears away, and in between this, a little girl in the booth next to us who was obviously someone’s little granddaughter– cute as a button–She entertained us while we were there. We finally made our way out the door.

I looked around for this woman as we got into the car, but didn’t see her. I asked my husband, and I don’t usually do this, to drive around the building.

I needed to find her. I know he thought I was crazy. Maybe he was right…

Sad to say, we didn’t find her and we left. I struggled to hold back my emotions. I told him to keep helping me to look for her.

Maybe she had walked somewhere down the road or someone had already picked her up.🤷‍♀️

My husband said, “Renee, that woman was probably 40 years old, she doesn’t need anybody to keep up with her.” At this point I burst out crying! (I told you I was an emotional wreck!) I told him in between the tears, that may be so, but she is still somebody’s baby!

I let it all out! Crazy as it may seem! I wiped my eyes with a kleenex. It has haunted me for two days now. I’ve prayed for this girl.

Who knows she might have been an angel, or it could’ve been God trying to stir something up within me that needs to be stirred.

I don’t have any answers, I just know that I have no stones to throw!

There are so many hurting in this world! Even some of you right now, may be at whit’s end reading this. You have so many problems, you don’t even know where to begin to find the answers or relief.

Only God can take those wounded places in your heart and mend them. Soothe them with His healing Balm of Gilead. Only He can take that brokenness and turn it into something that can be used for Him.

We each have a story to tell, that can reach the world around us.

Today, I’m praying for that Little Princess who has lost her way. I pray she finds healing, compassion and help, wherever she is.

Because she’s somebody’s baby.

I Refuse/Josh Wilson

Help Me/Cortt Chavis

“If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, “Jump,” and it jumps, but I don’t love, I’m nothing. If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don’t love, I’ve gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I’m bankrupt without love.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13

111 comments

  1. You showed her kindness. You prayed for her. You were trying to respond to a prompting. So you did not fail little sister.

    One suggestion would be to keep a few copies of things like your poem with you so you can be ready to respond. 🙂

    Liked by 5 people

      • God moved on me to hug him with all my might, he just came home from panhandling, where he held his sign, can you spare a $1, I ran to him and hugged him as hard as I could, saying over and over, I Love You, I’m scared for you! I’ve always loved you! My little brother. My family is going through it, people do judge, even I have judged, been hurt over and over by his actions. Today God said show Love, through you, and I I ran, for God’s Glory!!! I thank God for your beautiful Heart and obedience to the Lord!! Praise God, I know something just broke in spiritual realm. Love is the only way….in action!!!

        Liked by 2 people

  2. You got me teary a few times as I read through this. If you’re a basket case, then I’m a basket case too. I obsess too. I also get very defensive of people. Andrew always tells me that I defend everyone. It’s true, I do because we just don’t know what they have been through or are going through. Some of us have empathy to teach those who don’t see and feel what they aren’t seeing. Thanks for sharing. You’re not a basket case. You just have a big heart I guess I should tell myself the same thing. See…now I’m crying again. 😢

    Liked by 6 people

  3. Well, there goes my water works…😭 I thank you for sharing this. It had nothing to do with me but it helped me. I feel like I’ve done nothing but cry all week but maybe that’s what God wants me to do. He wants me to show Him my true emotions.

    A similar situation happened to me the other day. I might blog about it…🤷‍♀️

    Liked by 6 people

  4. Thank you so much for sharing this with us, Renee 💛💛💛 It truly blessed me to read, and I know others need to see it, as well! Thank you for not shying away from talking about what you went through – I know it inspired me ❤

    Liked by 4 people

  5. Oh Renee! Thank you for this post. I’m teary too because this world would be millions of times better if more people were treated the loving way you treated those two. I love you for this!💖

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Oh my friend, the Holy Spirit has risen up in you and given you a Heart for the desolate people, the hopeless, the unloveable by others. Never let others, even family, quell the Spirit. Continue in prayer and tears, for Christ did the same. Love in Christ Jesus.

    Liked by 6 people

  7. Keep on reaching out with your loving, nonjudgmental heart. Your eyes spill His healing waters and your arms are ready to be the reach of the Holy Spirit in action. Never apologize for being His love. ❤ I didn't know what prompted me to write the post I did today, but maybe it was for one of those two you and I are praying for … maybe they'll see it or feel it… the blessings of God on earth in the lives of Believers. You think?

    Liked by 3 people

  8. Renee…………this is such a beautiful story of how God lives in us and allows us to see how He sees us and others. God bless you for showing these two people the love they so needed and deserved. Your words brought beautiful tears to my eyes as I could feel your deep desire to reach out to others who so need to be loved.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Renee, you’re going to cry again. I was working on one of my blog posts. I had been writing about awkward moments, and I knew that Casting Crowns had a song called “One Akward moment.” Which I plan to use with my post. You have to watch this video. But have tissue handy! You are going to need it. I’m crying too. 😢

    Liked by 2 people

  10. The Lord exhorts throughout the New Testament to love our neighbours as ourselves…Renee I believe that’s what you did that day without even knowing it. Am happy you obeyed the prompting of the Holy Spirit. This really blesses me, tears running down my cheeks 😥👏🏽. Thanks my sister for a great reminder to heed the nudge of the still small voice.

    As soon as we take the step and try to make a difference to others, we really are beginning to walk with Jesus. Thanks again my sister and God bless you always.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for this Fay Ann! It really touched me, and I’m so glad this has touched you! Sorry to make you cry with me! I never even thought about it as me loving myself! But you know, I would want someone to love and respect me, even at my worst! I just found your lovely comment in my Spam folder!😢

      Like

  11. Renee, you never know how far your words to that women will go. When our son was in his Marine training he was in a cab heading for a bar to meet his buddies. The cab drive said, son are you a Christian, jared said, well yes I am. The cab drivers said, then you ought not bet going to this kind of place. It shook our son to his soul. Thanks God you spoke to her, looked her in the eyes and she spoke back because of that open face. I am so grateful for the ones who had the courage to speak of God and Jesus to me and also acted like Him. Cry those tears God has given you for those who hurt, they need them.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thank you so much for this Betty! I hope she remembers one day soon, the time she didn’t see any judgement in the eyes of this ole Jesus Girl! But most of all, I pray she saw Jesus that day and finds a church to call her own soon! Thank goodness for the cabbie who was bold to tell your son exactly what he needed to hear, and for those who witnessed to you and me both! 🙌💕

      Like

  12. When I read this, I had goosebumps. You are a really, really caring person. A true sunshine gifted to Earth. Thank you so much for sharing this story. It makes me feel warm that I am not the only person who feels remorse over strangers. You really are amazing! My utmost admiration and love to you 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  13. That’s awesome Renee!! Tears show your compassionate and gentle heart. We need reminders to keep our eyes open. Hurting ppl are indeed all around us!! Good reminder. Thanks ❤️🥰🙏

    Liked by 2 people

  14. Renee, you are really a beautiful soul dear ❤️ a true gem!!
    You were very kind and showed your love…..most people are least bothered!! The world needs more people like you dear
    Thank you so much for sharing 💕
    Have a great day 🤗💕

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Oh my goodness, Renee, you have the sweetest and most courageous soul. God must have been so proud to see His aughter try so hard to help one of His lost children. You amaze me and inspire me. God bless you for doing what is right no matter how crazy it seems. The world would be a completely different place if all Christians behaved like you! ❤😊

    You are not an emotional wreck, you were simply feeling the pain God must feel when He weeps over His hurting children. It’s overwhelming, I can imagine 😓

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Thanks Dollface! It is at times very overwhelming. 😢 I pray He helps us all help others the way He has helped and still helps us…thanks so much for your kind words! I always want to be obedient, even though it’s not always easy! 😢💜💕

    Liked by 1 person

  17. I’ve done this before. What an amazing mother I have. You’ve passed down the love gene. That’s for sure I’m so blessed to have a man that feels the same way about these things. He never makes me feel crazy.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Dear Renee ….. this made me cry ….. my heart was filled with compassion for that Little Princess …. who is someone’s baby ….. and yet, I cried more because I was touched with your love. YOU ARE AN ANGEL. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Awe…sorry to make you cry! It was truly humbling for me I know..It took me days to get over the experience. I’m still praying for her. 😘 Now you are going to make me cry! 😢 That was the sweetest thing to say. I wish I was an angel, but I’m still not perfect. Maybe one day when I get those wings in heaven! 😁🤗

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are truly an angel Renee ….. and we are so blessed to have you here. Thanks with deepest love and admiration! 💕🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷💕

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a comment