Angel Babies 😇👼🤰🏼💗💙

This one is for the mothers out there who have been struggling from the painful aftermath of having an abortion. For years you’ve worn that tattered coat of shame and guilt. It’s time to take it off. It don’t fit no more.

 

Angel Babies 😇👼🤰🏼💗💙

With angel wings soft as a baby’s touch, are my little ones in heaven I miss so much!


Daydreaming with tears threatening to overflow, I try to mask my feelings but they won’t let me go.


A brave face I wear as I go about my day, but deep down inside, I’m just one breakdown away.


God please let me know they will be okay, I cannot go on feeling this way!


My heart bleeds, I just want to run, far away from remembrance of the deeds that were done.


Have they forgiven me, will they know me when I get there? I’m so sorry Lord, please let them know I truly care.


She pushes the other with long, flowing hair, on a swing so high, carefree giggles filling the air!


Looking down on me with wisdom far beyond they see, with innocent eyes filled with only love—how can it be?!


Smiling big they wave downward while holding the other’s hand, my heart is lifted from the weight of its heavy band.


Now I know in heaven they feel no sorrow—no tears—no goodbyes—only happy rainbowed tomorrows.


Jesus appears and calls me by name, —I love you—let go of your shame!


All is forgiven, the pain erased, I give you beauty for ashes for every hardship you’ve faced.


It wasn’t your fault, this you must know, but the work of an enemy from long ago!


That enemy who holds the blame I will bind, I WILL REPAY HIM, the vengeance will be all mine.


That devil has sifted you long enough as wheat, but I have prayed for you, have put him under your feet!


Now close your eyes, My Daughter, can you but hear? They’re laughing and dancing with the angels— while they wait for you my dear!


Do you feel their special angel hugs each time their sisters hug you?— Their love abides, rejoices in hope, so please don’t feel so blue!


Their angels are ever watching, watching—over you!


Maybe you keep wearing the coat even after it has gotten way too tight, cutting your circulation off.

But you keep holding on to it anyways, keep wearing it, because you believe you deserve the punishment for what you have done.

You may be a Christian or maybe not. If you have repented, you know God has forgiven you.

You have felt He has forgiven you, but YOU CAN’T release yourself from the guilt.

Love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do.”

‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:5‬ ‭CEV‬

Since God IS love and doesn’t keep a record of wrongs, neither should we. Those who are already passed cannot and we won’t either when we get to heaven.

We simply won’t “be able” to cry, sorrow, or mourn. It DOES NOT exist there. So, those babies only feel love, abide in love, exist and dwell in love.

We must let things go and enter into God’s grace. There is “rest” when we BELIEVE that all our sins have been washed away.

This is exactly what people mean when they suggest that you need to “forgive yourself.”

As Kathy said in a recent post of hers from Maggie Tiggles, we don’t have the power to forgive ourselves, but God does.

Hours later after writing this poem, the tears came—lots and lots of them. God began dealing with me…A torrent river gushing out from somewhere deep within, along with the remembrance of the shame from my youthful past.

I wept because it was time. I wept because I didn’t want to expose my shame. I wept because it was time to revisit that place of hurtful memories, so that I could share them with someone out there who may need this. Maybe even prevent someone from making the wrong choices somewhere down the road.

I wept because being obedient to God is sometimes hard.. I wept because once words are released and shared, they cannot be taken back.

It feels like God can ask some mighty hard things of me at times. I have been on the cliff overlooking the valley of decision. I had to make choices with both my pregnancies.

With my first pregnancy, I was 19 and unmarried. The father of my baby asked me if I wanted to have an abortion, he made it clear that he would support me if I did. But I could not.

It was against all that I believed in as a new Christian.

I had just barely gotten in church and was a new babe in Christ. I had not yet learned how to get victory over temptation and sin.

The other big reason “WHY” I made the decision to “CHOOSE LIFE” was watching a life-changing film about abortion in my Senior year.

Our whole graduating class met in the cafeteria to watch the film, that day, and it deeply impacted my future decisions for the good.


⚠️WARNING⚠️the following few paragraphs are a little graphic.


The film actually showed a side view of a woman having an abortion and what happened during the procedure.

The young woman’s nudity was covered with a white sheet as she lay on the table and her feet were propped up into the stir-ups.. Her legs and the rod that was used was not covered. Neither was the damage that rod did covered up. It showed everything!

The sight of all the blood made me so sick I came close to RUNNING out of the cafeteria in front of all my peers and throwing up in the bathroom. I managed to look down in my lap and somehow calm myself down.

Those images are still burned in my mind after all these years! Would I have changed anything and opted out of the film if I had known? Probably.

But it was for my own good in the long run, to see the damage and to see the cold hard truth of what abortion does firsthand to the mother and the child. And maybe even prevent someone from making the wrong choices somewhere down the road.

I kept the information pamphlets for years in my Memorabilia trunk as a reminder. There were graphic pictures of different methods used in the abortions. One used some sort of salt method to burn the babies alive..

It really woke me up to reality and the damage an abortion can do physically, mentally and psychologically.


I can still remember the hurt in my father’s eyes when he found out I had gotten pregnant out of wedlock. I had been out of high school a couple of years, graduating when I was 17—in case you are wondering.

I was so ashamed! The father of my baby and I got married and stayed married for 5 years before it ended in divorce.

A little over a year after I remarried, I became pregnant for the second time. And a few weeks after, I got the test results, back and was hit with the news that I had cervical cancer stage 3.

The doctor said it was very close to being in my lymph nodes. She suggested I have an abortion, so that we could start the procedure to save my life.

I told her no right away. She told me the risks that the cancer could spread through my lymph nodes, and I could possibly die during childbirth. I told her I would take the risk.

I went up for prayer one night during revival. I know that prayer works, because my baby girl and I am walking miracles!

If you haven’t figured it out by now, my gynecologist/baby doctor was a very blunt woman who spoke her mind. She could not believe that I had not hemorrhaged to death at birth.

I told her it was God and prayer that brought us through! The hysterectomy I had after childbirth removed all the cancer!!!—God is good!!!

The things and events that happen in our lives happen for a reason. What if I had never seen that film on abortion? The story could have ended very differently.

I know from experience that we should never judge someone on a walk that we have never walked. Life is hard. We don’t always get things right. We don’t always know what is right, until we mature in our walk with God. We are sometimes naive to many sins and mistakes that haunt us sometimes for life, in spite of God’s forgiveness.

God understands that we are human and when we are young, we simply don’t have as much wisdom to make the right decisions. We fail many times before we reach that point in Christ.

We learn by failures..Sin isn’t pretty. It leaves deep scars behind, but the scars that God took when they nailed the spikes through his hands and feet onto the cross, covered our scars. They beat Him. He took the beating for us, so that we would not have to beat ourselves up forever for our past mistakes. He took the taunting, the spitting, so that we wouldn’t have to let the negative opinions of others destroy our self-image for the rest of our lives.

LET IT GO!!! All the shame, the past failures. He took our place, He took our sin, so we don’t have to live with them ANYMORE!!!

If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and do not wish to raise a baby, please consider adoption! The fetus/embryo is a real child and has a soul! And God has great plans for that baby and for you.

“For You formed my innermost parts; You knit me [together] in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was being formed in secret, And intricately and skillfully formed [as if embroidered with many colors] in the depths of the earth. Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were appointed for me, When as yet there was not one of them [even taking shape]. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!”
‭‭PSALMS‬ ‭139:13-17‬ ‭AMP‬‬

If you have had an abortion, seek godly counseling. It really helps to talk to someone. Don’t suffer alone! God still loves you! And I love you! You have value. Let the guilt go and burn the ships. Step into a new day and embrace your forgiveness. None of us deserve the mercy He has shown us, but we are pearls of great price, nonetheless! He thought we were worth saving, so He gave His life for our ransom.

So you could be free. FORGIVEN. So walk like you’re free. Walk like you’re forgiven. You’ve been set free…..YOU. ARE. FORGIVEN……..YOU. ARE. SET. FREE. CHILD.

50 comments

  1. Renee, your honesty and vulnerability will be a blessing to others. When I am out of school for summer vacation, I volunteer at our local Pregnancy Resource Center. It is one of my favorite things to do. I have learned a lot through the training I have received. I am going to share your beautiful poem with the Director. While listening to Charles Stanley the other day, he shared an important truth that everyone needs to know: Nowhere in the Bible does God say that’s it’s necessary or that we need to “forgive ourselves.” Only God can forgive sin. ✝️

    Liked by 3 people

  2. Wow… What an impactful post! You did a great job! I know it was probably hard talking about your past but God will honor your obedience.

    “to obey is better than sacrifice” 1 Samuel 15:22

    Everyone has a part of their story they don’t want to read a loud. And have memories that hunt them…And I definitely do… I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But those mistakes are what have made me who I am today.

    You are doing a great job! Keep letting the Lord use you on WP!❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks sweet girl! That means so much to me to have your support! I have really left a lot of my past in the past, and really don’t question God’s forgiveness towards me. I know it’s in that sea of forgetfulness, (which is another term that isn’t found in the Bible-it’s stated differently) but it seems that whatever we have gone through must be told when God moves on us to. It’s like He applies the balm of Gilead to those wounds and scars! It was hard for me to tell it for sure! Thank the Lord we are forgiven V! 🙌🏼💃🏼

      Micah 7:19: “He will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.”

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Amazing Post, God is using you, and your powerful stories and testimonies are helping many people🌻You are giving back Hope, to hopeless, Joy, to those suffering, and Love, to those who felt persecuted and unloved! May God continue to bless 🙏 and keep you in Jesus name!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Renee, you have amazing courage. Witnessing your testament stirs up my own feelings as a parent and grandparent.

    My middle daughter gave birth to a healthy boy two and a half months after her high school graduation. It was an emotional walk for her, but she handled it with poise and grace. I reminded her that her baby would be special and loved.

    Afterall, I was born about five months after my parents were married. I am thankful every day about the decisions my mother and daughter made. My daughter is married to the father of her boy, and they have a family of three now.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Richard. 🙂And thanks for sharing your own family’s story. That gives me great peace knowing that there are others who have made it through their hardships and made it just fine! Your daughter sounds like a strong courageous woman! I know it took a lot for her to keep going through high school and to graduate with her class. I’m glad it all worked out for the good in the long run! And now you have 3 grandchildren from her! I know you are a proud parent and grandparent! Thanks for sharing with me. God Bless!

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Reblogged this on Something to Stu Over and commented:
    This…is probably the most powerful post I value ver read on abortion and the desire to help others no make the choice to end a life. My little words can not do justice to what God gave Renee…so I leave you now with this from Renee…
    “Sin isn’t pretty. It leaves deep scars behind, but the scars that God took when they nailed the spikes through his hands and feet onto the cross, covered our scars. They beat Him. He took the beating for us, so that we would not have to beat ourselves up forever for our past mistakes. He took the taunting, the spitting, so that we wouldn’t have to let the negative opinions of others destroy our self-image for the rest of our lives.”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Renee, I cannot imagine the tears that fell and the pain you experinced while following God’s lead for you to share your stories. But, what you have done with this post will help so many women climb out of the depths of pain and seek God to restore their lives. God bless you, your courage and love for God speaks volumes in your writing.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Wow!
    So many thoughts swirling in my head. I wish I had contacts over Focus on the Family – this needs to be read by so many moms and even dads.
    Thank you for sharing your story of doubt, fear, and triumph. No wonder your heart understands mine – you’ve walked my road before. My love for you deepens ❣️🤗

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow! That would be so humbling to know that this helped someone walking in the same shoes, especially through Focus on the Family! James Dobson has great wisdom.

      Yes, kindred spirits we are! 🤗

      That road has led me down many trials and past many mistakes, Dee! I’m still learning, and He is still working on me! On us all for that matter! Love ya! 💜

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lord, we thank You for not allowing us to remain in the state You found us. We thank You for washing us continuously, for pruning and purging us. Help us to not to grumble or complain as we remain pliable in Your hands. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

        I love you too 🙂

        PS: I thought about you and the song by Matthew West – The God Who Stays.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Dee, wow! 😳 God is so amazing! I was listening to that song not long ago, and cried so much thinking of where God has brought me from. God sure does see and know our heart! He sent a reminder through you! He’s the God who sees!!! 💜🤗 Thank you sister!

        Like

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