‘Hurting People, hurt people.’
Folks! I think I seriously have a concussion from the epiphany that konked me square over the head yesterday! I guess I was asking for it, because I have, after all, been pondering and praying for days now, and yes crying over some very hurtful situations in my life.
God has been dealing with me also for days now, that I needed to open myself up and share my feelings with you. The following post will not be easy for me to publish, but I hope you won’t write me off! A friend’s post yesterday made me realize that it’s time to take the mask off.
Emotions are sometimes raw and ugly. Some don’t do very well expressing them and others go into overkill mode.
I have realized that I am not responsible for the actions of others, but can only take responsibility for my own. I call it sweeping around my own doorstep. I always try to treat others with the same respect and love that I would want to be treated.
I recently stumbled upon something on the internet that has opened my eyes to who I am, as a person.
- Number One–It has made me realize that my “whole” body system is very sensitive. Everything about me! I never realized just how much so, till I seemed to fit the bill to most all of the symptoms on the list.
— I know I have a few known food and airborne allergies, that I feel are the root cause of my chronic sinus problems. Some perfumes, as well as any form of smoke, seems to get me sicker than anything! And this week, I discovered that cleaning with bleach spray caused me to go into full-blown ‘allergy-mode.’ (I had ran out this month and was using something else I had on hand, or I would more than likely have never discovered this)
The older I’ve gotten, my whole system seems out-of-whack!–GERD, stomach ulcers, as well as one at the end of my esophagus, hiatal hernia, hormones, have even shrunk two inches in my height, anxiety, allergies, weak immune system, dulled ability to smell, eye-sight problems, digestive issues, weak wrists, back problems, sensitive skin and teeth, and even have to have more shots than most to deaden my mouth for most dental work–These are most of what I am dealing with. And in case anyone is wondering, I do take a lot of vitamins and natural products.
It’s very hard to be judged because it takes you longer to recover from any kind of sickness, especially when you seem to stay sick.
My sinuses and allergies haven’t always been this chronic, but for the past three years now, have seemed to get the best of me. I have even had sinus surgery in hopes that would magically cure all.
Some people don’t realize that with allergies and sinus comes unbearable head pressure and headaches that causes foggy brain, forgetfulness, and lack of focus and clear thinking. It’s very frustrating.
At the beginning of all this, I thought maybe I was having low blood sugar issues, like my dad had before he passed to cause me to stay sick, but the bloodwork came back normal. My health has declined, definitely not from my own choosing!
Even through all this, I haven’t stayed in doctors offices or asked for any of this, to be treated as if I were a hypochondriac. I may go to the doctor 2-3 times a year, only if I am in need of an antibiotic to clear up my chronic sinusitis. This year is a record for me already. I have had to go to the doctor 4 different times to clear up this past sinus infection. It is what it is…
So, it’s very hard for a person going through health problems of any kind to endure the looks, comments, or even being ignored when you need someone the most! Just telling someone you are praying for them is all a person needs during a difficult time as this. They don’t need your sympathy, just your prayers.
I am sensitive to some types of noises. I get anxious when I go out to eat at restaurants, because the background noise makes me feel like the walls are closing in on me. If someone is engaging in conversation with me while there is background noises, I am unable to fully focus on the conversation. The background noise distracts me completely! I feel like I am in a whirlwind!
- I am sensitive to sunlight. It’s hard for me to be able to see good without squinting or wearing sunglasses outdoors. I have had to add anti-glare coating to the lenses of my glasses for night driving, so headlights from passing cars would not blind me.
- I am sensitive to the feelings of others and in my own emotions. This fact can be both a curse and a blessing. It is simply taking on what another person is feeling. The only way I can describe it is, you feel like you have just stepped into another’s shoes and became that person!
I can walk into a room and feel a person’s vibes. Others around don’t seem to notice what that person is feeling, but I can see it all over their face when no one else can! And even feel it in my own body. It’s very stressful! And it drains me mentally and physically!
Since I have become a born-again Christian, at times when I am praying for a person, and it feels like something is wrong, even though I don’t quite know what it is, I am able to pray for that person with love, compassion and empathy.
Normal everyday situations seem to overwhelm me more than others. Anything new, a situation, experience, traveling, or whatever, again, drains me, physically, mentally and emotionally.
I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. Thankfully it has saved me from getting hurt in a few situations in my lifetime. I could feel the intentions of that person and knew they meant harm.
No, I am not psychic by no means! Just to clear that up! The Bible warns about this. But I do realize that empathy is truly a gift from God, even if I don’t feel like it at times.
It’s as close as I’ve found to a reason for all the suffering our trials can bring! God wants us to comfort others during these hard times. It’s not God’s intentions for any of us to use our suffering as an excuse to hurt others. Some people have it more hard in this life. It’s true. But we all have our own crosses to bear, struggles, and ailments. What we choose to do with all the suffering, is up to us.
Do we use our experiences to try to be a blessing to someone else? To reach out in our own suffering to show others the love of Jesus?
This revelation has really opened my eyes! I decided to consciously take my eyes off self and be a blessing to others again. To get back to the “real” me. Go back to my ‘humble’ roots. The old sensitive me. To reach out and just be there for people. The person God made me to be. And remove myself from the microscope that others have placed me under. God sees me through His “glasses” of unconditional love.
I can’t tell you how liberated I feel at the moment! A trip to Walmart proved to be a blessing to me. I normally try to get a running start with my shopping cart, in hopes I can zoom straight through there and get out as quickly as possible. But I decided to walk at a normal pace this time.
Because of this, I was able to talk with two people who were hurting with situations in their life, and also to meet a stranger who was new to town, due to his work. I was able to invite the newcomer to church and just lend a sympathetic ear to the other two.
I can still see the pain in their eyes, as they related what was going on in their lives. Both were dealing with very traumatic experiences. I have been praying for them all since then.
In conclusion to this long saga I have written lol, I will leave you with the reminder, Hurting people, HELP people.
There is a purpose for your pain. You will be a great blessing to those around you! The things you have been through have been very deep-seated, but God is gonna use it to help others!