Renee🌻

God’s True Purpose for your Pain

‘Hurting People, hurt people.’

Folks! I think I seriously have a concussion from the epiphany that konked me square over the head yesterday! I guess I was asking for it, because I have, after all, been pondering and praying for days now, and yes crying over some very hurtful situations in my life.

God has been dealing with me also for days now, that I needed to open myself up and share my feelings with you. The following post will not be easy for me to publish, but I hope you won’t write me off! A friend’s post yesterday made me realize that it’s time to take the mask off.

Emotions are sometimes raw and ugly. Some don’t do very well expressing them and others go into overkill mode.

I have realized that I am not responsible for the actions of others, but can only take responsibility for my own. I call it sweeping around my own doorstep. I always try to treat others with the same respect and love that I would want to be treated.

I recently stumbled upon something on the internet that has opened my eyes to who I am, as a person.

    Number One–It has made me realize that my “whole” body system is very sensitive. Everything about me! I never realized just how much so, till I seemed to fit the bill to most all of the symptoms on the list.

  • — I know I have a few known food and airborne allergies, that I feel are the root cause of my chronic sinus problems. Some perfumes, as well as any form of smoke, seems to get me sicker than anything! And this week, I discovered that cleaning with bleach spray caused me to go into full-blown ‘allergy-mode.’ (I had ran out this month and was using something else I had on hand, or I would more than likely have never discovered this)

    The older I’ve gotten, my whole system seems out-of-whack!–GERD, stomach ulcers, as well as one at the end of my esophagus, hiatal hernia, hormones, have even shrunk two inches in my height, anxiety, allergies, weak immune system, dulled ability to smell, eye-sight problems, digestive issues, weak wrists, back problems, sensitive skin and teeth, and even have to have more shots than most to deaden my mouth for most dental work–These are most of what I am dealing with. And in case anyone is wondering, I do take a lot of vitamins and natural products.

    It’s very hard to be judged because it takes you longer to recover from any kind of sickness, especially when you seem to stay sick.

    My sinuses and allergies haven’t always been this chronic, but for the past three years now, have seemed to get the best of me. I have even had sinus surgery in hopes that would magically cure all.

    Some people don’t realize that with allergies and sinus comes unbearable head pressure and headaches that causes foggy brain, forgetfulness, and lack of focus and clear thinking. It’s very frustrating.

    At the beginning of all this, I thought maybe I was having low blood sugar issues, like my dad had before he passed to cause me to stay sick, but the bloodwork came back normal. My health has declined, definitely not from my own choosing!

    Even through all this, I haven’t stayed in doctors offices or asked for any of this, to be treated as if I were a hypochondriac. I may go to the doctor 2-3 times a year, only if I am in need of an antibiotic to clear up my chronic sinusitis. This year is a record for me already. I have had to go to the doctor 4 different times to clear up this past sinus infection. It is what it is…

    So, it’s very hard for a person going through health problems of any kind to endure the looks, comments, or even being ignored when you need someone the most! Just telling someone you are praying for them is all a person needs during a difficult time as this. They don’t need your sympathy, just your prayers.

    I am sensitive to some types of noises. I get anxious when I go out to eat at restaurants, because the background noise makes me feel like the walls are closing in on me. If someone is engaging in conversation with me while there is background noises, I am unable to fully focus on the conversation. The background noise distracts me completely! I feel like I am in a whirlwind!

  • If the tv is on while I am on the phone, and my husband is trying to tell me something quickly in the background, I am unable to focus on either conversation. It makes me just as mad as it does others!
    • I am sensitive to sunlight. It’s hard for me to be able to see good without squinting or wearing sunglasses outdoors. I have had to add anti-glare coating to the lenses of my glasses for night driving, so headlights from passing cars would not blind me.
    • I am sensitive to the feelings of others and in my own emotions. This fact can be both a curse and a blessing. It is simply taking on what another person is feeling. The only way I can describe it is, you feel like you have just stepped into another’s shoes and became that person!

    I can walk into a room and feel a person’s vibes. Others around don’t seem to notice what that person is feeling, but I can see it all over their face when no one else can! And even feel it in my own body. It’s very stressful! And it drains me mentally and physically!

    Since I have become a born-again Christian, at times when I am praying for a person, and it feels like something is wrong, even though I don’t quite know what it is, I am able to pray for that person with love, compassion and empathy.

    Normal everyday situations seem to overwhelm me more than others. Anything new, a situation, experience, traveling, or whatever, again, drains me, physically, mentally and emotionally.

    I’ve been this way as long as I can remember. Thankfully it has saved me from getting hurt in a few situations in my lifetime. I could feel the intentions of that person and knew they meant harm.

    No, I am not psychic by no means! Just to clear that up! The Bible warns about this. But I do realize that empathy is truly a gift from God, even if I don’t feel like it at times.

  • I am sensitive to touch and taste. I don’t think it’s too bad in this area though. I despise wearing something as constrictive as pantyhose or turtlenecks. The hose itches me terribly, even after applying lotion, but I do wear them occasionally. And I feel like I am smothering with a turtleneck on or anything constricting my movement. I can’t wear flannel or wool for this reason. I do better wearing tights that don’t have feet in them, instead of hosiery. The material is stretchy and more comfortable.
  • As a child, things like lumpy rice or gristled meat made me gag or throw up. Rice doesn’t bother me anymore, but I still can’t eat meat that has gristles. It’s too textured for me.
  • So, getting back to the epiphany at the beginning of this post—just as soon as I thought of, ‘hurting people, hurt people,’ a new thought was replaced in my mind–‘Hurting people, HELP people.’

    • It’s as close as I’ve found to a reason for all the suffering our trials can bring! God wants us to comfort others during these hard times. It’s not God’s intentions for any of us to use our suffering as an excuse to hurt others. Some people have it more hard in this life. It’s true. But we all have our own crosses to bear, struggles, and ailments. What we choose to do with all the suffering, is up to us.

    Do we use our experiences to try to be a blessing to someone else? To reach out in our own suffering to show others the love of Jesus?

    This revelation has really opened my eyes! I decided to consciously take my eyes off self and be a blessing to others again. To get back to the “real” me. Go back to my ‘humble’ roots. The old sensitive me. To reach out and just be there for people. The person God made me to be. And remove myself from the microscope that others have placed me under. God sees me through His “glasses” of unconditional love.

    I can’t tell you how liberated I feel at the moment! A trip to Walmart proved to be a blessing to me. I normally try to get a running start with my shopping cart, in hopes I can zoom straight through there and get out as quickly as possible. But I decided to walk at a normal pace this time.

    Because of this, I was able to talk with two people who were hurting with situations in their life, and also to meet a stranger who was new to town, due to his work. I was able to invite the newcomer to church and just lend a sympathetic ear to the other two.

    I can still see the pain in their eyes, as they related what was going on in their lives. Both were dealing with very traumatic experiences. I have been praying for them all since then.

    In conclusion to this long saga I have written lol, I will leave you with the reminder, Hurting people, HELP people.

    There is a purpose for your pain. You will be a great blessing to those around you! The things you have been through have been very deep-seated, but God is gonna use it to help others!

    God Bless!

    Renee

    Published by Renee🌻

    Life is a series of lessons we learn by way of the school of hard knocks. I feel I have a degree in this one. It has made me who I am today--I am Renee--My name is French, meaning Reborn. I believe there is a lot in a name, because that's just who I am. Spirit-filled. Encourager. Reader. Author. Blogger. Lover of love, God, His Word, hearts, dragonflies, nature and coffee!~❤️Aka Nonna. 3 grand-boys, 3 grand-daughters-- 2 girls. 💌 Married 28 years. “May God grant you always...A sunbeam to warm you, a moonbeam to charm you, a sheltering angel so nothing can harm you. Laughter to cheer you. Faithful friends near you. And whenever you pray, Heaven to hear you.”~~Irish Blessings~~

    38 comments

    2. I am praying for you sister! That sounds a lot like what I went through with undiagnosed Celiac disease. Have you ever tried going gluten free (no oats, barley, wheat, or rye)? That even helps people who don’t have Celiac too. I am also an empath (INFJ to be exact) and that gift of intuition and deep empathy has been hard as a guy in America. It is draining emotionally because as you said we care so deeply that we become that person. Male INFJs are very rare and it was hard being such an emotional guy growing up. I didn’t understand the intuition when I was a kid. We care so much it can actually make us physically ill and many empaths deal with that. I am thankful for how God made me and He has given me wisdom in how to use it, but it can still be overwhelming at times. I don’t like big crowds either because I can feel everyone around me and sometimes it’s hard to shut it off. I end up praying silently for everyone around me. We can read facial expressions and literally feel what the person is feeling. It can be exhausting. I understand and feel your pain Renee and I am praying for you. You are right, there is a purpose in our pain. God is with you and He loves you!

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      • Thank you for your prayers and understanding, Ryan. It’s hard to put ourselves out there at times! I have not tried the gluten-free diet, as of yet. I was unable to continue with the airborn allergy testing, due to deductible not being met. Hopefully will soon. I can imagine how hard it was being an INFJ, but very special with God. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made in His image, blessed and loved so much by Him! Thank you for all the info! God Bless!

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    4. Amen, so good! There is a purpose for our pain. You will be able comfort and encourage those in need going through the same thing. God will never let our pain be wasted, it will be used for His glory. God bless you and praying for you 🙏🏻

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    7. BRAVO…….when the mask comes off, the healing begins and we know who we are in this world! Your writing is insightful, engaging, empathic, mentoring, encouraging and beautifully stated. I LOVE how you state “Hurting people HELP people” which is a wonderful growth mindset. Writers are meant to write passionately, inspired and from the heart, to tell their story and bring change with their voice! You nailed it! Congrats!!!!

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    8. Oh, Wonderfully restated: “Hurting people, HELP people” this is such a great way to redeem the suffering! And there truly is joy in the midst of the suffering as we reach out and love others. Praying for you Renee!! So sorry for your health trials! I know how discouraging they are! Big hugs!💖💚

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    9. God bless you for having the compassion to reach out to others -even in the midst of your own suffering. Yes, I believe those who have been through it know best how to help others through.

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    11. “sweeping around my own doorstep. ” That little phrase will preach or teach…love it. I am always looking for ways to talk about being real for I think this is a key to freedom, that phrase I am going to use in my book I am writing.

      Sounds like you have a lot of health issue on your plate. Our health cannot always be controlled because we cannot control others, the world around us and even our desires at times. But I know for a fact God uses our health to teach us important truths that will bring freedom. Your post testify of that. I had one of those revelation this month and I am still spiritually high on it. It’s came about because I bit some one who I love head off. I am easily angered and hate it. But God is working on me and the more I see the root of it the more I am aware before I get anger and am able to chose to react different. This was a great post. Glad I stop by this one too. You are good at expressing yourself, a good writer. Blessings.

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      • Your kindness has touched me! Thank you for that! I am so honored to be a part of your book for you to use the phrase, ‘sweeping around my own doorstep!’ I’m so glad that you can use it for that purpose! 🙌 I have actually felt better since I wrote this post. Thank goodness! A little R & R has helped with that…we all have weaknesses that we are striving to change. Remember Peter had the same anger issue. He cut off the ear of the servant, when they tried to take Jesus away to be crucified. He cursed and even denied Jesus 3 times before the rooster crowed. He failed God because of his anger issues, but guess who Jesus gave the keys of the kingdom to?He became the Rock! When we are weak, Jesus is strong! Hope you take comfort in this fact! He loves us anyway!

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    12. I hear you.

      I was diognosed a coeliac many years ago but discovered later I was Anaphylactic to wheat…and now citrus. I almost died while my dctor tried to find out what was wrong with me.

      In 2007 I was bedridden with an unknown illness. Maybe it was related, I don’t think I’ll ever know for certain but I used the time to write down my thoughts, prayers and anxieties. Mostly the pages filled with poetry and personal devotions which later I was encouraged to publish. I did eventually but at the time I felt blessed by others who were worse off than I.

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    13. Thanks for relating some of the things you have went through! They were tough m, but God used them to help with your poetry and devotions! I can’t wait to read your mystery books when I get the chance! I pray that you are doing better health-wise! And thanks for stopping by! 🤗

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    15. Oh sister Renee, you and I have so much in common Girl! Several things on your list I deal with as well. Some of them being sensitive to light, can’t wear wool or cashmere, nothing tight/high on the neck like a turtle neck or tight necklaces (I think this could be partly from having a man grab me around the neck while threatening to break it) , I never get numb all the way for dental work (I just suffer through it), I can’t stand any gristle or fat in my meat and I have never had so many physical/sinus problems as I have the past 3 years.

      You are not alone by any means! {{Hugs}} Stress and trauma can cause us all kinds of problems (DollFace is teaching me about this). She is helping me with changing how I react to situations I can’t control. It’s so helpful having someone studying psychology and behavioral health. She takes pizza, cookies and brownies in exchange for advice/explanations right now. Hahaha 😀 Just kidding, I would have girl’s nights even without the LONG chats we have.

      You are the sweetest person I know! Like I told you yesterday, you throw kindness and the love of God around like confetti. It is beautiful. ❤

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      • I just realized I gave you the wrong name for this post, but you found it anyways! 🙂 Wow!!!….Yes, I agree that we have a lot in common! Stress will kill ya! It’s not good for sure! Dollface sure is living up to her nickname! She is a Doll! 🙂 It would be nice to pay in pizza and goodies! 😉 I’m glad I met you and your daughter here. Y’all are my kind of people! 🙂 And you are pretty sweet and beautiful yourself girlfriend! That sweet comment just warmed my heart right up! Thanks! 😀🤗💜

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        • You know, I looked and looked for the post you wanted me to see! 😂

          Yes, she is. She loves to analyze and help people. She won’t let ya stay down that is for sure!

          Awe… we feel the same about you. 💕

          Thank you. 😊

          It’s absolutely true! 💕💕💕

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      • Girl, I didn’t even know! I had deleted the conversation (I do that all the time) before I got to look and I was trying to remember the name of it. None of your post names sounded like the right one, so I was just reading different ones. 😂

        You are NOT terrible! You have so much on your mind right now. In case no one has told you today:

        You are beautiful.
        You are important.
        You are amazing.
        You are loved. 💕

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    17. I love this! Was just speaking with someone the other day about the fact that hurting people hurt people, and this is like the BEST follow up, or confirmation, whichever it may be 🙂 God wants us to know that nothing we go through will be in vain! Praise God!

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