It’s always an honor to share with friends! God Bless you Brothers.
Stu, I know it’s hard to share our hearts when we have strained relationships, especially with parents. I’m sorry you have had to go through this! Prayers!
And Joshua, so glad you have a wonderful relationship with your father! That is a special blessing!
A word From Dollface…
The Meaning of this Tag:
A father is someone who loves his child unconditionally, provides for them, protects them always, teaches them values, disciplines them fairly, and wants the best for them. For that, we should always, ALWAYS have respect for our fathers. They are created to bear the responsibility of caring for and protecting their families just as God calls them to do. Father’s Day is about reminding your father how much you appreciate him, but I hope this tag will perhaps remind you this month how blessed you are to have a father at all.
As I said before, this is a very hard day for me every year. My father and I have a very complex relationship. In fact, it is the polar opposite of my relationship with my mother. Growing up I felt abandoned, rejected, unloved, forgotten, and neglected because of his behavior that stemmed from alcoholism and what I believe could have been other mental health issues (don’t quote me, I’m not a doctor XD).
I will always love my father. He is a part of me, half of me to be exact. However, mustering the strength to honor or respect him at all has taken a long time to do. We talk sometimes over text, but not a lot. Some days he responds and I feel like we’re getting somewhere, then he vanishes like he always did. It has helped living a thousand miles away from him since finishing high school, but I have come to accept the pain I feel from my childhood will never go away. Recently, in the last week actually, he said something that has proven he’ll never change. I was trying to gain closure, but he continues to blame me for things that I may talk about in another post. Anyways, he may move on in his life, which is painful for me to watch, but that doesn’t change the past he continues to deny and blame me for.
If you have a similar situation, whether you have been abused, manipulated, abandoned, or rejected by your father (even someone else in your family), can I give you some advice that has helped me cope with such a toxic relationship?
You have a choice. You can walk away. You can block a number. You can say no. You can cut them off from your life. That doesn’t mean you don’t honor them, that just means you have enough respect for yourself to protect your heart and enough respect for them to love them at a safe distance. You can pray for someone every day and never talk to them again. Isn’t that better than subjecting yourself to more pain and building up further resentment that could become the poison of unforgiveness? I think so, because no one deserves to be abused in any way. You deserve love. If you don’t/didn’t receive that love from your father, always know you have a Father in Heaven who loves you more than your father ever could.
I hope you do have an awesome father though. If you do, give him a bear hug and be grateful to have the best protector you could have on this earth. If you don’t, pray for him, friend
Here are the rules:
1. Thank the person who nominated you to participate.
2. Use the original featured image.
3. Copy and paste the introduction and meaning of this tag at the beginning of your post, along with the links to both creators’ original posts. *This rule is very important.Please, please link this post and Purple Rose’s post so that as authors we may be alerted when a tag is published. It also gives us proper credit, which is much appreciated. Thank you
4. Answer the questions.
5. Nominate one or more people to participate.
6. Enjoy the rest of your month!
Here are the questions for this month’s tag:
1. What is your relationship like with your biological father, if anything at all?
We weren’t extremely close, but we had a mutual, quiet understanding. We didn’t need words to enjoy our visits. He was a quiet-spoken person.
2. What is one thing you would change about your father if you could? What is one thing you wouldn’t change?
I would have liked to go back in time when he was a little boy and tried to let him know just how loved he was, and take some of the burdens off him for being the oldest child with lots of family responsibilities resting on his shoulders.
I would hope in doing this it may have changed how he was able to “show” his love for his kids better outwardly, while we were still younger. We knew he loved us but needed to hear it.
I would not change that he was a wise, quiet-spoken person, funny in a serious way, faithful to God, family and a great provider, and great money manager, strong-willed.. He worked sick or well. He was my hero, even with his flaws.
3. Who do you celebrate on Father’s Day (your father, step-father, grandfather, uncle, etc.)?
I honor those men in my life who have passed, by remembering their precious memories.
At the moment, I celebrate my husband on Father’s Day. And I pray that one day, God will truly change him. That’s why the song, Lead Me, by Sanctus Real always touches me and makes me cry.
4. What was the most valuable thing he taught you? To be faithful in all things, and to love God with all your heart!
5. What is one thing he does/did that you would never do? I think I need to answer it this way: I told my kids I loved them. I didn’t make them guess.
6. How do you honor him on Father’s Day?
I just remember those who passed, take my hubby out to eat, buy a Father’s Day card and buy something he has been wanting.
7. How has your relationship with him impacted the person/parent you are today?
I guess I get my cautious ways and keeping my life private from him. I am still working on this.
And the part about always finding someone just like your father, is sometimes true. I have always wound up with the ones who didn’t know how to show love in a healthy way. Even though my dad was good in every other area, this is the part that messed me up in my life.
This month I am tagging…
This is a friendly invitation to participate, with no obligations to do so! It’s nice to get to know my fellow blogger friends.