Unsaid Goodbyes Part 1

Have you ever wished you could go back in time and change things? I have. I was jolted with the reality of that thought yesterday after reading Stu’s post Death Of A Loved One and several posts that Stu has shared recently. It has been healing for me. Thanks my friend!

Most the posts have a similar theme—TEARS. I liken myself these days to a Carousel Ride with painful memories spinning me up and down and around in a circle—some good and some not so good.

Reading about Stu’s last goodbyes to his Paw Paw, reminded me of my mom’s funeral, and then oddly settled on a time when I didn’t get to say goodbye.

She was my best friend. Charlene. I had known her through my elementary school years as a mere acquaintance, but went on to become best friends in the 7th grade—our first year in Junior High.

We remained friends all through the high school years. There were other friends in our little group, but she had become my very best pal. Then everything changed over night in our Senior year.

We had a class together in Vo-tech, where we had to board a bus and be shuttled 5 minutes away from our high school. It was here where we met various new students from different high schools in our county.

This was the days before the consolidation of all the schools in our county, which if I remember correctly was the year right after my high school graduation. 🙄 We were all bummed over this!We had JUST missed being able to attend the brand new school.

I can remember we were so excited our Junior year to meet new friends. Keep in mind, we had been attending school with the same fellow students for 10 years when we first enrolled into the Sales, Marketing and Advertising class in 11th grade. I had wanted to take the Computer class, but most my little group wanted to take this one, so I followed the crowd. 🙄🤦‍♀️

We started class in a little red metal barn building, till our actual classroom was completed. The whole Vo-Tech was newly built that year and comprised of two brand new buildings for vocational courses, the barn included and a greenhouse. The Barn became the store where our Sales, Marketing and Advertising class sold the fruits and veggies the Horticultural Class grew in the greenhouse.

Here’s the back side of the barn, in the far right pic. I am the one in the white striped sweater, and Charlene is right next to me in the turquoise shirt. The other pics are from a convention where Charlene ran for Secretary. I can’t remember the name of the club we were in. She won by the way!

Our teacher, Ms. Hosey, had really become a good mentor. We looked up to her. She was wonderful! She was one of those cool teachers who made a difference in her students lives.

Charlene had starting traveling to her hometown on the weekends to do some shopping and hanging out with Ms. Hosey and her fiancé. Those were the days when that was ok. That wouldn’t be acceptable these days.

Charlene started pushing me away and giving me the brush-off. So, I decided to hang out with our other group more. Charlene acted like this surprised her. I got tired of trying to follow her around like a puppy and being ignored.

That same teacher loaned me this dress for the prom. She knew my mom had passed away and wanted to help. Her own mother had passed away when she was in high school. I had to get it hemmed though.

Charlene was a good Christian girl in spite of how it sounds. I really didn’t understand her behavior. This is one of the many places where things starting going south in my life. I was still reeling from my mom’s death almost two years before. I felt abandoned. I skipped a few classes to be with the other group. I began getting a few C’s in two of my classes-Accounting and First Aid. I did manage to pull them up before graduation.

I look back now and know I probably wouldn’t have traveled down the road I had, if Charlene and I had never parted ways. She didn’t drink or party.

After high school I moved 30 minutes away. After I got married later on, I moved another hour away from my hometown. I happened to be looking in the paper one Sunday morning, which I hardly ever did, and saw her brother’s name in the obituary. He had gotten killed in a car wreck!

So, I sent a sympathy card to her home address. I never heard back from her. I had jotted down my address and phone number inside the card. I guess I never had her home phone number, because we never had a phone in our home growing up. That’s unheard of nowadays!…..



  1. To be continued? Oh tease us! But remember god knew every phase our friends would go through and how that would impact how our phases would unfold-
    And so take heart knowing there as no mistakes – which I know you know
    And I love the yellow dress – hem must have been perfect –

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol…waiting on the edge of your seat. 😆 I have a tendency of making posts way too long, so I decided to break it up into two parts this time.🤷🏼‍♀️ Thank you for that encouraging word! It really touched my heart! Sometimes we just need to be reminded! 🙂 Thanks, I loved the dress, too! My teacher was tall, so the dress was way too long! 🙂 We both went to a seamstress. Charlene’s was specially made. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • I did not really care for charlene’s dress although I bet for the time it was really in and trendy!
        And not a fan of yellow too often – but you were tan and trust yellow is soft and the ruffles were not overdone

        Too long of a post is not good and so it really was smart to do a part 2
        And I have learned that even tho we go as Long as we want – it really is nice to be dense and brief – so see you at part 2

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks for your honesty lol. It was a little old-fashioned, but suited her to a tee. My dress wasn’t as elaborate as my other friends in our group, but I was thankful for it. And that was the tannest I’ve ever been!

        Liked by 1 person

      • Well at my junior prom I had the same dress as another girl – yikes! And we only had less than 200 at the prom so it was small and the chances of the same dress? Low.
        We talked about our dresses
        At lunch and isn’t it funny how perceptions and descriptions are so individual to where we never realized it was the same!
        The good news is that they did look different – they were white dresses – from the Guess store – cost about 125$ in 1985…
        White strapless dress with bit of A frame poof (in Hind sight way too wedding like – lol- but that were “in”)
        And we wore them different –
        She had grande breasts so they dress hung low and had all that chest look
        – my dress was higher and our accessories made them different – as did our dates – mine had gray tux with tails and too hat – and so I think our look was a bit classic and her look was more sexy.
        And another hind site thing – my conservative side (god led even then) could be seen –
        Oh and we both had good tans (also in back then as you know)
        Thanks for a fun post and the chance to “go back” with you

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yeah dresses were affordable back then. My other friend had a white lace one that looked weddingish…It was so beautiful! I was just reminded seeing it in my picture album. My senior prom dress was my second pic, the one in my Walking Like an Egyptian post. My dad went with me and wouldn’t approve of the one I picked out that day, but I’m so glad now that he was looking out for me.😁 That would have been a fiasco back in the day, arriving with the same dress on! 😁…You are welcome-thanks for going back with me! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I can understand how difficult this is to share. I’ll wait for part 2 tomorrow…impatiently…lol.

    Thank you for your kind words about the posts. I was, as I shared earlier, holding back tears at work with what you shared with me. I am truly humbled to know the Lord used my story to help you heal!

    Love ya sis!

    Liked by 2 people

    • You sound like me…I have stayed up way too late to finish reading something before, but I tried to spare you all this time. It was hard writing this, but I truly feel peace about it now! Thank you from the bottom of my heart Stu for letting God use you! I hope no one is getting depressed from the heavy stuff I’ve been posting here lately…I feel it’s a season of change for me—like we agreed on one of your posts. I hate to have made you almost cry at work! 🤧 Love you, too, my brother from another mother! 🙂


      • I’m glad you have a peace about it😊 Don’t worry about the tears…they will see them one day I’m sure…lol

        Nah, don’t worry about the heavy stuff. It’s needed. God has His purpose 😊

        Liked by 1 person

  3. When I was looking through my yearbooks for pics, I came across the message my mom had written me in a yearbook—I was in the 4th grade that year! I had forgotten about it…That was a part of all my blubbering, too… But anyways, hope it does help someone else, like yours did mine.

    Liked by 1 person

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