This one is for the mothers out there who have been struggling from the painful aftermath of having an abortion. For years youāve worn that tattered coat of shame and guilt. Itās time to take it off. It donāt fit no more.
Angel Babies šš¼š¤°š¼šš
With angel wings soft as a babyās touch, are my little ones in heaven I miss so much!
Daydreaming with tears threatening to overflow, I try to mask my feelings but they wonāt let me go.
A brave face I wear as I go about my day, but deep down inside, Iām just one breakdown away.
God please let me know they will be okay, I cannot go on feeling this way!
My heart bleeds, I just want to run, far away from remembrance of the deeds that were done.
Have they forgiven me, will they know me when I get there? Iām so sorry Lord, please let them know I truly care.
She pushes the other with long, flowing hair, on a swing so high, carefree giggles filling the air!
Looking down on me with wisdom far beyond they see, with innocent eyes filled with only loveāhow can it be?!
Smiling big they wave downward while holding the otherās hand, my heart is lifted from the weight of its heavy band.
Now I know in heaven they feel no sorrowāno tearsāno goodbyesāonly happy rainbowed tomorrows.
Jesus appears and calls me by name, āI love youālet go of your shame!
All is forgiven, the pain erased, I give you beauty for ashes for every hardship youāve faced.
It wasnāt your fault, this you must know, but the work of an enemy from long ago!
That enemy who holds the blame I will bind, I WILL REPAY HIM, the vengeance will be all mine.
That devil has sifted you long enough as wheat, but I have prayed for you, have put him under your feet!
Now close your eyes, My Daughter, can you but hear? Theyāre laughing and dancing with the angelsā while they wait for you my dear!
Do you feel their special angel hugs each time their sisters hug you?ā Their love abides, rejoices in hope, so please donāt feel so blue!
Their angels are ever watching, watchingāover you!
Maybe you keep wearing the coat even after it has gotten way too tight, cutting your circulation off.
But you keep holding on to it anyways, keep wearing it, because you believe you deserve the punishment for what you have done.
You may be a Christian or maybe not. If you have repented, you know God has forgiven you.
You have felt He has forgiven you, but YOU CANāT release yourself from the guilt.
Love doesn’t keep a record of wrongs that others do.ā
āā1 Corinthiansā¬ ā13:5ā¬ āCEVā¬
Since God IS love and doesnāt keep a record of wrongs, neither should we. Those who are already passed cannot and we wonāt either when we get to heaven.
We simply wonāt ābe ableā to cry, sorrow, or mourn. It DOES NOT exist there. So, those babies only feel love, abide in love, exist and dwell in love.
We must let things go and enter into Godās grace. There is ārestā when we BELIEVE that all our sins have been washed away.
This is exactly what people mean when they suggest that you need to āforgive yourself.ā
As Kathy said in a recent post of hers from Maggie Tiggles, we donāt have the power to forgive ourselves, but God does.
Hours later after writing this poem, the tears cameālots and lots of them. God began dealing with me…A torrent river gushing out from somewhere deep within, along with the remembrance of the shame from my youthful past.
I wept because it was time. I wept because I didnāt want to expose my shame. I wept because it was time to revisit that place of hurtful memories, so that I could share them with someone out there who may need this. Maybe even prevent someone from making the wrong choices somewhere down the road.
I wept because being obedient to God is sometimes hard.. I wept because once words are released and shared, they cannot be taken back.
It feels like God can ask some mighty hard things of me at times. I have been on the cliff overlooking the valley of decision. I had to make choices with both my pregnancies.
With my first pregnancy, I was 19 and unmarried. The father of my baby asked me if I wanted to have an abortion, he made it clear that he would support me if I did. But I could not.
It was against all that I believed in as a new Christian.
I had just barely gotten in church and was a new babe in Christ. I had not yet learned how to get victory over temptation and sin.
The other big reason āWHYā I made the decision to āCHOOSE LIFEā was watching a life-changing film about abortion in my Senior year.
Our whole graduating class met in the cafeteria to watch the film, that day, and it deeply impacted my future decisions for the good.
ā ļøWARNINGā ļøthe following few paragraphs are a little graphic.
The film actually showed a side view of a woman having an abortion and what happened during the procedure.
The young womanās nudity was covered with a white sheet as she lay on the table and her feet were propped up into the stir-ups.. Her legs and the rod that was used was not covered. Neither was the damage that rod did covered up. It showed everything!
The sight of all the blood made me so sick I came close to RUNNING out of the cafeteria in front of all my peers and throwing up in the bathroom. I managed to look down in my lap and somehow calm myself down.
Those images are still burned in my mind after all these years! Would I have changed anything and opted out of the film if I had known? Probably.
But it was for my own good in the long run, to see the damage and to see the cold hard truth of what abortion does firsthand to the mother and the child. And maybe even prevent someone from making the wrong choices somewhere down the road.
I kept the information pamphlets for years in my Memorabilia trunk as a reminder. There were graphic pictures of different methods used in the abortions. One used some sort of salt method to burn the babies alive..
It really woke me up to reality and the damage an abortion can do physically, mentally and psychologically.
I can still remember the hurt in my fatherās eyes when he found out I had gotten pregnant out of wedlock. I had been out of high school a couple of years, graduating when I was 17āin case you are wondering.
I was so ashamed! The father of my baby and I got married and stayed married for 5 years before it ended in divorce.
A little over a year after I remarried, I became pregnant for the second time. And a few weeks after, I got the test results, back and was hit with the news that I had cervical cancer stage 3.
The doctor said it was very close to being in my lymph nodes. She suggested I have an abortion, so that we could start the procedure to save my life.
I told her no right away. She told me the risks that the cancer could spread through my lymph nodes, and I could possibly die during childbirth. I told her I would take the risk.
I went up for prayer one night during revival. I know that prayer works, because my baby girl and I am walking miracles!
If you havenāt figured it out by now, my gynecologist/baby doctor was a very blunt woman who spoke her mind. She could not believe that I had not hemorrhaged to death at birth.
I told her it was God and prayer that brought us through! The hysterectomy I had after childbirth removed all the cancer!!!āGod is good!!!
The things and events that happen in our lives happen for a reason. What if I had never seen that film on abortion? The story could have ended very differently.
I know from experience that we should never judge someone on a walk that we have never walked. Life is hard. We donāt always get things right. We donāt always know what is right, until we mature in our walk with God. We are sometimes naive to many sins and mistakes that haunt us sometimes for life, in spite of Godās forgiveness.
God understands that we are human and when we are young, we simply donāt have as much wisdom to make the right decisions. We fail many times before we reach that point in Christ.
We learn by failures..Sin isnāt pretty. It leaves deep scars behind, but the scars that God took when they nailed the spikes through his hands and feet onto the cross, covered our scars. They beat Him. He took the beating for us, so that we would not have to beat ourselves up forever for our past mistakes. He took the taunting, the spitting, so that we wouldnāt have to let the negative opinions of others destroy our self-image for the rest of our lives.
LET IT GO!!! All the shame, the past failures. He took our place, He took our sin, so we donāt have to live with them ANYMORE!!!
If you are facing an unplanned pregnancy and do not wish to raise a baby, please consider adoption! The fetus/embryo is a real child and has a soul! And God has great plans for that baby and for you.
āFor You formed my innermost parts; You knit me [together] in my motherās womb. I will give thanks and praise to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was being formed in secret, And intricately and skillfully formed [as if embroidered with many colors] in the depths of the earth. Your eyes have seen my unformed substance; And in Your book were all written The days that were appointed for me, When as yet there was not one of them [even taking shape]. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How vast is the sum of them!ā
āāPSALMSā¬ ā139:13-17ā¬ āAMPā¬ā¬
If you have had an abortion, seek godly counseling. It really helps to talk to someone. Donāt suffer alone! God still loves you! And I love you! You have value. Let the guilt go and burn the ships. Step into a new day and embrace your forgiveness. None of us deserve the mercy He has shown us, but we are pearls of great price, nonetheless! He thought we were worth saving, so He gave His life for our ransom.
So you could be free. FORGIVEN. So walk like youāre free. Walk like youāre forgiven. Youāve been set free…..YOU. ARE. FORGIVEN……..YOU. ARE. SET. FREE. CHILD.
So beautifully touching and heartfelt. šš
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Thanks for reading Yonnie! š
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[…] via Angel Babies šš¼š¤°š¼šš ā ā”Heart Tokensā” […]
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Renee, your honesty and vulnerability will be a blessing to others. When I am out of school for summer vacation, I volunteer at our local Pregnancy Resource Center. It is one of my favorite things to do. I have learned a lot through the training I have received. I am going to share your beautiful poem with the Director. While listening to Charles Stanley the other day, he shared an important truth that everyone needs to know: Nowhere in the Bible does God say thatās itās necessary or that we need to āforgive ourselves.ā Only God can forgive sin. āļø
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Thank you Deb! What an impact you are making on the world around you! I wish there was a local one here! Awe…thank you so much for wanting to share my poem with the director! That means so much and makes my heart smile big! I just reblogged a post by Kathy at Maggie Tiggles about this very subject. I think what may confuse a lot of people about the subject of āforgiving self,ā is the fact that we can forgive others, why could we not forgive ourselves…. but only God holds that power. We just have to accept His forgiveness and ālet it go.ā (our guilt and shame)
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Yes, let it goš
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Amen!
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Pls educate me 1:1 as I need all the info I can find. If you do my contact form pls. On my blog. I will be so thankful.
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Wow… What an impactful post! You did a great job! I know it was probably hard talking about your past but God will honor your obedience.
“to obey is better than sacrifice” 1 Samuel 15:22
Everyone has a part of their story they don’t want to read a loud. And have memories that hunt them…And I definitely do… I’ve made plenty of mistakes. But those mistakes are what have made me who I am today.
You are doing a great job! Keep letting the Lord use you on WP!ā¤
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Thanks sweet girl! That means so much to me to have your support! I have really left a lot of my past in the past, and really donāt question Godās forgiveness towards me. I know itās in that sea of forgetfulness, (which is another term that isnāt found in the Bible-itās stated differently) but it seems that whatever we have gone through must be told when God moves on us to. Itās like He applies the balm of Gilead to those wounds and scars! It was hard for me to tell it for sure! Thank the Lord we are forgiven V! šš¼šš¼
Micah 7:19: āHe will again have compassion on us, and will subdue our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.ā
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You’re very welcome! I’ve so thankful we are forgiven!
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“Excellent.
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Thank Bonnie! God Bless you my friend!
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Amazing Post, God is using you, and your powerful stories and testimonies are helping many peopleš»You are giving back Hope, to hopeless, Joy, to those suffering, and Love, to those who felt persecuted and unloved! May God continue to bless š and keep you in Jesus name!
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š„š What would I do without you my sweet beautiful friend with the encouragement you are always extending to me and all those around you?! I feel Godās peace reading this! Your kind words have touched my soul! I pray Godās blessings on you my friend! And I humbly pray God comforts others with the same comfort He has comforted me through my trials all these years. Thanks for the prayer and blessings! šš¤šš¼
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I am just continually amazed by you and all you share. Glory to God!
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And I truly feel the same of you Debbie! ā¤ļø Love you friend!š¤ And yes itās all in Him! š
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Oh, Renee, what an impact is your testimony! There’s a lot of power and strength in forgiveness and freedom: you have used those gifts from God to His glory!
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Kathy, your kind words have moved me! ā¤ļø Thank you for that! Every one of our testimonies here are helping us personally to overcome and to help others to overcome, as well! What would any of us do without His power, strength, forgiveness and freedom? We would be among men most miserable! To God be the glory! š
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Glory, glory, indeed, to God Most High! What a blessing He has given us in this generous and edifying community.
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Amen to that!!!šš¼šš¼šš¼
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Very powerful! ā¤ ā¤
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Thanks so much sweet girl for reading! :)ā¤ļøš¤
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You’re very welcome!
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This was a powerful story Renee. Thanks for sharing what you went through and encouraging others. God loves endlessly and He forgives! ā¤ļø
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That he does Dawn! And thank you so much! God has a plan in it all. š
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Youāre welcome Renee! š
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Your post moved me. Thank you for sharing your story.
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This lovely comment was in my spam Winnie! So sorry! Thank you so much! I am glad that it touched your heart. Thank you for reading. ā¤ļø
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Renee, you have amazing courage. Witnessing your testament stirs up my own feelings as a parent and grandparent.
My middle daughter gave birth to a healthy boy two and a half months after her high school graduation. It was an emotional walk for her, but she handled it with poise and grace. I reminded her that her baby would be special and loved.
Afterall, I was born about five months after my parents were married. I am thankful every day about the decisions my mother and daughter made. My daughter is married to the father of her boy, and they have a family of three now.
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Thank you, Richard. šAnd thanks for sharing your own familyās story. That gives me great peace knowing that there are others who have made it through their hardships and made it just fine! Your daughter sounds like a strong courageous woman! I know it took a lot for her to keep going through high school and to graduate with her class. Iām glad it all worked out for the good in the long run! And now you have 3 grandchildren from her! I know you are a proud parent and grandparent! Thanks for sharing with me. God Bless!
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The world is filled with wonderful stories of personal strength and perseverance from family, neighbors, colleagues, and friends. Each creates a precious memory.
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You are so right!
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Reblogged this on Something to Stu Over and commented:
This…is probably the most powerful post I value ver read on abortion and the desire to help others no make the choice to end a life. My little words can not do justice to what God gave Renee…so I leave you now with this from Renee…
“Sin isnāt pretty. It leaves deep scars behind, but the scars that God took when they nailed the spikes through his hands and feet onto the cross, covered our scars. They beat Him. He took the beating for us, so that we would not have to beat ourselves up forever for our past mistakes. He took the taunting, the spitting, so that we wouldnāt have to let the negative opinions of others destroy our self-image for the rest of our lives.”
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Renee, I cannot imagine the tears that fell and the pain you experinced while following God’s lead for you to share your stories. But, what you have done with this post will help so many women climb out of the depths of pain and seek God to restore their lives. God bless you, your courage and love for God speaks volumes in your writing.
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Thanks Wendi….That means a lot. It was tough, but I know God has a greater plan. And itās even tougher on those who have had an abortion. I pray for their healing.
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You are doing amazing things for God!
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Big hugs my friend Wendi! š¤
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Okay that brought tears to my eyes. Felt this so much..ā¤ļø
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Awe! Sorry to have made you š¢ š¤
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No donāt be . No worriesš
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So so heartfelt š
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Thanks Isha!š
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Pleasure š
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š
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Wow!
So many thoughts swirling in my head. I wish I had contacts over Focus on the Family – this needs to be read by so many moms and even dads.
Thank you for sharing your story of doubt, fear, and triumph. No wonder your heart understands mine – youāve walked my road before. My love for you deepens ā£ļøš¤
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Wow! That would be so humbling to know that this helped someone walking in the same shoes, especially through Focus on the Family! James Dobson has great wisdom.
Yes, kindred spirits we are! š¤
That road has led me down many trials and past many mistakes, Dee! Iām still learning, and He is still working on me! On us all for that matter! Love ya! š
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Lord, we thank You for not allowing us to remain in the state You found us. We thank You for washing us continuously, for pruning and purging us. Help us to not to grumble or complain as we remain pliable in Your hands. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
I love you too š
PS: I thought about you and the song by Matthew West – The God Who Stays.
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Dee, wow! š³ God is so amazing! I was listening to that song not long ago, and cried so much thinking of where God has brought me from. God sure does see and know our heart! He sent a reminder through you! Heās the God who sees!!! šš¤ Thank you sister!
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