You may be wondering why I would be thinking about Christ’s crucifixion near Christmas time. Shouldn’t we be focusing on the baby born in a manger this time of the year? This post is a continuation of the one I published on Nov. 5th of this year, entitled Would You Be Free From your Burden Of Sin.
I know I should have posted this sooner. I’ve had so much going on, but someone needs to hear this. Someone struggling with things they cannot overcome in their own skin. Things you may not even be able to confess to another living soul but Jesus Himself. Addictions can be a terrible stronghold, but there is deliverance in His All-powerful Blood! I am living proof there is hope!
As I mentioned in the earlier post, I was struggling with a sin I could not get victory with, over twenty years ago – in my earlier years of living for God. Shame covered me many days, and I told the Lord as much. I tried so hard to overcome it in my own power. A lot of times during prayer, I would open my Bible randomly and it would fall open to the following scripture:
“And when ye spread forth your hands, I will hide mine eyes from you: yea, when ye make many prayers, I will not hear: your hands are full of blood. Wash you, make you clean; put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes; cease to do evil; Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool. If ye be WILLING and OBEDIENT, ye shall eat the good of the land: But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.”
Isaiah 1:15-20 KJV
Instead of seeing the positive side of these scriptures (because I was struggling so much with negativity) that I marked in bold, all I could focus on was the fact that God would hide His eyes from me and turn a deaf ear to my prayers. And the thought of my hands being full of blood/crucifying Him afresh, left me feeling like I had no hope, because I could not stop. I had tried already.
“This I say then, Walk in the SPIRIT, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the FLESH. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.”
I could keep trying to bring my sacrifices of praise to the Lord, but I knew even then that they weren’t pleasing in His sight. The whole chapter of Isaiah 1 was a warning that there had to be a complete deliverance and change within me, from my flesh. He loves us too much to leave us in our dilemma.
The part that I would be devoured with the sword if I kept on with my sin was a big motivator for that change!!!
Don’t get me wrong, I was living a godly life to the best of my ability between those falls, I wasn’t walking around all hypocritical-like, pretending to be “Mary Poppins Perfect,” looking down my nose on all those around me, judging their sins while secretly hiding my own.
I knew I had faults. We all do. Only God is perfect….I read my Bible and prayed like most do. I was immediately sorry after each moment of weakness. But again, I could not stop.
I was also having problems in the area of lack of self-control/temperance. Many of the other fruit of the Spirit were evident in my life. But sin is sin, no matter how big or small. A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump!
Lack of self-esteem, negativity and feelings of unworthiness left me as the very least in His kingdom! How could I break free?….Desperation has a way of changing our situation – and changing US from the inside out!
I’m really not sure what made that day any different from any other day. I did picture myself as the woman touching the hem of His garment, desperate for a miraculous healing. I could relate to her. She was also having a “blood issue,” even if in a different way.
I was WILLING. I just DID NOT know how to be willing. If that makes ANY sense? I did not know what “I” could do on my part to stop this sin. I had no idea that it wasn’t about ME or my ability, but ALL ABOUT HIS ABILITY!
So there I was, like the woman who touched the hem of His garment. She, no doubt, had to push her way through, to get to Jesus.
I had to push my way through ME!!! Not anyone else, but ME! – My guilt, my condemnation, my sin, my flesh and my inability to help myself.
His Blood washed me white as snow that day, right there in my bedroom floor! Just me and Jesus! Jesus applied His Blood and washed me squeaky clean! Why God has chosen so many times to keep loving me through my weaknesses, I will never know.
But from that day forward, that sin no longer had a hold on me. He had broken the stronghold and set me free! I was completely DELIVERED! He had transformed me and renewed my mind!
Pursue peace with all people, and HOLINESS, without which no one will see the Lord:Matthew 12:14
I’ve heard it said before, I cannot comprehend how red Blood can wash away my sins and make me as white as snow. But they did!
I am so thankful for His mercy and blessed that He would want to still use a wretched sinner to be His hands and feet. And the amazing part is He doesn’t want you to live in condemnation either!
He simply tells us to GO FORTH. Strengthen the brethren. Lift up the feeble hands, support the weak, be patient toward all men. For such were some of you. 🙏🏼❤️🤗✝️
“Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the GRACE that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; As OBEDIENT children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; Because it is written, “Be ye holy; for I am holy.”
1 Peter 1:13-16